What do you find is the biggest problem for parents of multiply handicapped children?”"There’s little question in my mind that the biggest hurdle is acceptance of the child. I don’t mean that the parents don’t love him or her right from the start. They do! They love the child, but they also love the image of the child that they carry in their minds. As I said before, none of us knows how we will cope with a child who doesn’t meet our expectations. Even those who have had contact with handicapped children, who say they could cope, don’t really know. Everyone has to go through the stages of grieving for the child who isn’t as you planned, forgetting the child who is the image in your mind, before you can reach the stage of acceptance. For some parents, this can take a long time. But gradually people come to the realization of what their child can and can’t do. You have to wait for the parents to come to those realizations themselves. They don’t listen if you just tell them. You can help them to see, but, ultimately, they have to see for themselves before they can accept.”In the meantime, the counselor has to be supportive. It’s important to praise parents for what they are doing and to reassure them that they are doing everything possible. It is important to nurture their hope, but to try to temper that hope slowly with realism. It’s a long, tough process for both the parents and for the counselor. But in the long run it’s worth it.”*236\208\8*
COPING WITH EPILEPSY/ACCEPTANCE: THE BIGGEST PROBLEM”
Posted: July 17th, 2011 under Epilepsy.
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