You know, if we could have raised our first child as if he were our second, things would have been much better, for him and for us. Maybe we should pretend this is our second marriage. Why don’t we save the hassle and money of a divorce and just start our second marriage now? We’ve already met anyway, and we have a head start on our problems. Why start new ones with someone else? Okay. 1 declare us divorced and remarried. This is our last chance. We have to stop acting like this is some sort of stupid rehearsal that doesn’t really matter. We have to stop acting like we are kids in a fire drill. Attention. Attention. This is not a test. I repeat, this is not just a test.
WIPE
Super Marital Sex Rule: Super marital sex depends on remembering that there will never be a better time than now to enhance the sexuality, the intimacy, of your marriage. We behave as if we can fix things later, get to them later, do much better later when there is more time. No excuse can change the fact that now is the best time, the only time to join together for a more intimate marriage.
We watched together as the cleanup of the crash site continued. I had been called by the medical team to talk with the wife. “I’m more worried about her than I am about her husband,” reported the doctor. “She’s just sitting there looking off into space.”
Her eyes never left the cleanup work as she talked. “Another chance. I can’t believe it. Another chance.” With determination and confidence more than sadness or shock, she continued. “I swear to you that I will never, ever take him, take us, for granted again. I almost lost him, lost everything. I swear to you I’ll never let us forget us again. We will be first, not some afterthought, some social convenience, a pair of people who happen to be together.”
Her gaze rose from the pile of clutter to my eyes. She placed a hand on each of my shoulders, looked directly at me, and seemed to appoint me clergyperson, notary public, and certified witness to her personal vow. “Listen. Do you believe me? Do you? I will devote every cell of my body to us. Do you believe me?”
She did not expect an answer, for her vow was to herself and to her husband and their marriage. Her eyes left mine to focus over my shoulder to the gurney being pushed toward us. She rose to embrace her husband, and they cried silently together. “Another chance, darling, another chance.” They sobbed and held each other tightly.
Until this wonderfully terrible moment in their lives, this husband and wife had forgotten their marriage. They had forgotten to share a loving-together, not just a living-together. They had forgotten to touch one another, to nurture the sexuality and intimacy within their relationship. Don’t let this happen to your marriage. Let this book serve as a starting point for a recommitment to intimacy, a second chance before your first chance expires.
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