When your children seem to be lying more than you might expect (and remember, lying is a natural part of growing up in our society, whether we like it or not), when they avoid open conversations about sex or other topics, even more discussion is necessary. Accusing them of deception will only lead to more deception. Viewing that deception as pain and fear and a need for knowledge about sexuality and living is much more productive. Deception usually means that children are trying in their own way I not only to protect themselves, but you as well. They are trying to protect you from discovering a “them” they feel you could not accept.
If your children have not talked to you at all about sex issues, no matter what their age, they are deceiving you. You can be sure the concern is there. There is only one perfect age for sex and love education, and that is the age of your child right now. There is no “when” problem for this type of education. Children are always ready and they always need it. Educational experts agree with child! researcher and educational therorist Urie Bronfenbrenner that any child can learn anything at any time. What matters is the teacher! and the type of teaching.
Developmental psychologist Jean Piaget called this problem of the right teaching at the right time in the right way the “problem of match.” As a flower needs not too much or too little water and sun, but just the right amount, so it is with education, and sex! education particularly. Our society is providing plenty of fertilizer, but that will only burn and kill the flower if we don’t counterbalance it with the light of knowledge and the nurturance of love.
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