Psychological factors such as self-confidence, self-esteem and trust are intimately involved in the achievement of satisfying sex for both partners. Men are under greater pressure than women when it comes to sexual performance, and their capacity to have an erection and therefore penetrative sex may be reduced with age. Beyond the age of fifty or so, men generally require more stimulation than in their younger days to get an erection and to maintain it, reaching orgasm takes longer, and ejaculation may be more difficult. Penile sensation also tends to change.
According to Simone de Beauvoir, ‘Whereas a man of a certain age is no longer capable of erection, a woman at no matter what age is endowed with as it were a furnace … all fire and fuel within’. Popular Scottish songs of the eighteenth century make much of this contrast. An elderly woman yearns for the wild embraces of her younger days, now no more than a ghostly memory, since her husband no longer thinks of doing anything in bed except sleep, while she is eaten up with desire.
As with most men, a woman’s attitude to her physical appearance influences the way she relates sexually. Some studies indicate that men are even more concerned than women about the effects of ageing on their sexual desirability. As hair turns grey, with wrinkles becoming more prominent and bodies losing muscle tone, both men and women may see themselves as less attractive and less sexually desirable. If they cannot accept that an elderly person can also be beautiful, they may shy away from sexual intimacy.
It’s worth remembering the personal traits that are independent of age — character, intelligence, expressiveness, warmth and personal style. These form the real basis of deep and lasting sexual attraction.
*95\38\8*
