What Should I Do If I Am Experiencing Anger?
Anger is real. Persistent, unresolved anger helps no one and can lead to depression and social problems. You must come to understand what you are angry about and then take steps to dissipate the anger. One way for believers to help resolve anger is through the power of Reinhold Niebuhr’s serenity prayer:
God, grant me serenity
to accept the things I cannot change
courage to change the things I can
and wisdom to know the difference
In addition, it will help if you learn to
•accept that many people do not understand what you need at this time and to appreciate it when their intentions are good
•sacrifice some comforts, opportunities, and hopes, at least for the time being, until your life is more settled (be willing to decline party invitations, job offers, or hobby-related outings that would overtax your emotional and physical reserves)
• share your anger in a safe place
•express your anger in writing, singing, drawing, music, or other medium
• accept yourself with your anger; accept yourself with any things you did in the past that may be making you angry; take responsibility for managing your anger
Unresolved anger does not help anyone and can lead to depression and social problems.
What If I Feel Sad?
Sadness is a feeling of unhappiness. Disappointment, grief, fatigue, and loneliness can all cause you to feel sad. Contrary to what people expect, you may experience your most intense sadness after treatment is completed.
Sadness may stem from disappointment in yourself or others at how things were handled during your treatment or how things are going now. One way many people get through the stresses and discomforts of cancer treatment is to focus on how good things will be when the treatment is over. If your life after cancer is a far cry from the inspirational, idealized images on which you focused during your treatments, you inadvertently set yourself up for disappointment once your treatment has ended.
Another critical reason for this posttreatment sadness is grief. After the intensity and routine of cancer treatments are over, you are left with all of your big and little losses to grieve. You may have lost
• your illusion of good health and safety
• a body part, such as a breast, a limb, or your voice
• a bodily function, such as mobility or fertility
• your normal energy
• time that you had planned to use doing something other than treat cancer
• the predictability of some relationships
• your appetite, your enjoyment of food
• your normal appearance
• insurance
• financial security
• expected opportunities at work, in school, or socially
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